I did not want to write today. At. All.
You ever get those days that you just feel like ditching stuff? Or maybe you’re in a funk? Or intimidated by picking up where you left off? Or maybe – as with me today – there’s other stuff that you can do that will give more instant gratification? Yeah, totally one of those days.
My ‘stuff’ today was posting more items in the shop (a couple new bracelets). And yeah, I felt instantly gratified when I was done. It was a ‘Check it off the To Do List’ moment. I wanted to get more and more checked off my list (using the Any.Do app, btw, for Android for my Note 2 and loving it!!). I wanted to feel productive and I felt stuck where I left off.
But I couldn’t. The ‘not writing’ was nagging me, as it always does. Sure, if you ignore that little voice long enough, you can pretend it doesn’t move you. You can shove it down really deep under things like “Pay the Bills” and “Read to relax” and “Just another try at/level of Candy Crush”. But it’s there.
For me if I don’t persist I get depressed, anxious and I cannot sleep. I begin to wonder what I am doing with my very short life and even turn to mindnumbing activities like phone games, tv and the spirit lifting ability of alcohol.
I’m not saying these are bad things, but in excess anything can be a negative.
The thing about loving to write, getting high off writing, is that when you’re not writing, you’re still aching for it in a way. Even when you don’t want to write!! That is what the guilt you feel for not writing is… That’s there because your brain, your body needs it. Craves it. It’s chemistry baby!
When you get lost in your writing, in the characters… well, there is little in life better. Maybe a good steak, a romantically intense moment with your loved one, a fantastic film or book, etc. But writing is something you can do yourself at anytime for free and still get CLOSE to all that awesomeness.
My point is that I did NOT want to write, but I kept my long term goals in mind (I’ll do another post on those soon) as well as the very simple daily word count goal of 750 words.
I told myself, “Just get through it. It doesn’t matter if those words are the worst you’ve ever written; you can cut or edit them once you finish writing. No one else will ever have to see this.”
The word can be little whores nagging you, the point is to get them done (heehee) and move on.
So I sat my AIC (Ass In Chair) and wrote. Next thing I know I’m drunk off these two characters and bam, I’ve crossed the 1300 mark. On a day I felt like skipping. On a day I just didn’t want to write and my brain kept throwing up excuses at me.
You never know until you try and that is with writing you.
You never know what your day will bring until you take a step to greet it.